The Real Saul, Why We Hide

I remember several occasions on average spring days, my family would drop what we were doing, get up, and hide in a closet.  I grew up in Amarillo,TX, a city that is far from the threat of hurricanes and earthquakes but right in the middle of tornado alley.  Tornado alley is a thin vertical strip of tornado activity hovering over middle America that climatologists say extends from the Texas Panhandle to S. Dakota, and my hometown sat in the center of it.  Often in the springtime, we would have 3 or 4 tornado warnings a week.  I remember hiding.  The sirens would blare.  The television warnings would sound.  And my family would huddle together in a small closet hoping it wouldn't get too close. . .  We'd hear the pounding rain and the gusts of wind.  If it got too close you could hear the sound of a freight train.  But that's why we hid.  We were afraid.

We've been talking about Saul, and the fact that Saul's problem in life was less about his pride and more about his deep insecurities.  The passage we're examining today was, I think, the one that really helped me understand Saul better.  As I've said, I always heard that the reason for Saul's downfall was his pride, but this passage helped  me see a different side of Saul.

Here's what happened.  Saul had been chosen by God and anointed by Samuel to be the first King of Israel.  Saul, the guy from the smallest clan of the least reputable tribe, was asked by God to be king.  It was a huge honor.  And as Samuel anointed Saul he made him the promise that he woould undergo a metamorphosis . . . the spirit of God would come on him in power and he would be "changed into a different person."  And the passage says that "God changed Saul's heart," (10:9) presumably into the heart of a man who could function as king in a manner that would honor God.   So Saul has been given every opportunity to fulfill his destiny.  Saul was given the chance, all the tools he needed in his toolkit, a pretty competent advisor in samuel, and the Holy Spirit working in him.  All Saul needed to fulfill his destiny of being a God-honoring king was to believe it and embrace it.

Very quickly we realize that a full emrace of his destiny was not going to happen.  Samuel called all of Israel together for a public coronation of Saul as their new king.  Again, God made it apparent that Saul was the man chosen by God.  They drew lots to determine who the new king would be, an ancient form of drawing straws.  Their chance drawings led them to Saul's tribe, Saul's clan, Saul's family, and eventually to Saul himself.  It's amazing!  Who could deny that Saul was the man God had chosen to be King?  But this is what the passage says: "But when they looked for him, he was not to be found.  So they inquired further of the Lord, 'Has the man come here yet?'  And the Lord said, 'Yes, he has HIDDEN himself among the supplies'" (10:21-22).

For months now I've been asking myself this question:  Why was Saul hiding?  I think, when election day comes on November 4th, if we have to drag our new president elect out of hiding we should be worried.  Why did he hide?  The more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that the only reason people hide is because they're afraid of something.  They're afraid of a threatening enemy, a natural disaster, or in Saul's case, I think he was afraid of the thought that he might fail as king.

It makes no sense that he should be afraid of that.  Samuel promised Saul that he was "changed into a different person."  God changed him.  God made him who he was supposed to be.  All he had to do was believe it and live it.  But when push came to shove, his insecurities rather than the truth won.  Saul was qualified and properly equipped to be king, but he simply could not believe that it was true.  And what happens to too many of us when we allow ourselves to follow destructive paths or fail to pursue our dreams is that we've simply gone into hiding.  What is theologically true of us and ontologically true of us and athropologically true of us can't compete with what our little whispering insecurities say is true of us.  Those little voices always tell us to run and hide, when God is telling us to act.

I think when we feel that little nudge to take a spiritual risk or to step out of the boat on faith, but we choose not to, I think we've gone into hiding.  When we regress into bad habits in areas of our lives where we've already experienced voctory, I think we're letting oursleves go into hiding.  I think everytime I wonder internally if people really like me or if this person or that thinks I'm stupid or fat or ugly, I'm moving away from where God wants me and moving closer to a place where I can shut myself in and hide.  I think every time I question my own ability to pastor a church or lead people or teach people or to do any of the things I really believe God has gifted me to do, I'm moving toward a lifestyle of hiding out until the storm passes, when God has given me everything I need to weather the storm with him.  And that's the power of an insecurity.  See, it's all about fear.  It tends to bottle you up instead of letting you experience the goodness God has given you to experience.  And what God says is "Believe ME and what  I say about you, and stop being afraid!"  Easier said than done.      

Comments

[Debbie]

I am loving your insight on Saul. Thank you for writing this. Keep it coming!