Junk Drawer Spirituality

Why Lassie Was a Dog, Not a Cat

"Earn More Sessions by Sleaving"

This classic scene from Steve Martin's 1987 movie "Roxanne" popped into my head today.  I found it on youtube, and laughed just as hard as the first time I saw it.

Irony

This is what you call "irony."  Picture taken at a local BP gas station . . .

  

Toyota CEO Apologizes on Letterman

"YOU KILLED BIG JAW!"  Hilarious . . . 

Over-The-Phone Singing Fail

I thought this was pretty funny . . . 

The Craziness of Google "Auto-Complete"

Popular search engine, Google, has added a relatively new feature called "auto-complete." The way it works: as you type a word or phrase into the search bar, the autocomplete program predicts what the remainder of your word or phrase might be based on the most popular search queries others have entered.  So a drop-down box of options appear, and you can just point and click if your specific search phrase pops up.  It's supposed to save you time.

It also offers a bizzare look into the weird things that are on people's minds.  Try this sometime: just type in the beginning to ANY QUESTION, and watch what pops up in auto-complete's option list.  You'll see some crazy stuff . . .

• If you simply type the word "why", the number 4 option on the list is the question, 'Why can't I own a Canadian?"  Hmmm.  Glad to know so many people are curious about that.
• If you fill in the phrase further and type "Why does," the #3 option is "Why does my belly button smell?"
• Apparently, of all the people on Google who type "Where," the fourth most requested conclusion to that phrase is, "Where is Chuck Norris?"
• Taking the Gold medal on the bizzare, if you type "How do I get"  the third most popular conclusion to that query is "How do I get me sister to sleep with me?" . . . Really?
• And finally, when you type "Do people," the ninth most searched question is this: "Do people poop when they die."

Thank you Google for shining a spotlight on the weirdness of all of us.

Awesome Olympics Reaction! (think he's excited?)

Russian skater, Ivan Skobrev . . .

 

Chicago Winter Survival Kit

Remind me to ask for this sucker for Christmas next year.  I'd love it for my front porch, on which I've already cracked my tail three times this winter.  It seems tooooooootally safe . . . and apparently it's "so easy even your wife can use it" . . .

  

My Yearbook Photos

Alright . . . these aren't ACTUAL yearbook photos, but I had some fun with photoshop last week making these fake yearbook pictures of our Waterfront staff.  It was for our past Saturday service at Waterfront.  In order: Me, Cindy, Jim, and Greg.

     



     

The Muppets Meet Bohemian Rhapsody

This is an instant classic.  I laughed my tail off at this!

What Up With That?

I don't exactly know why I think this Saturday Night Live sketch from last Saturday is so dang funny, but I've watched it about 7 times now and I've cracked up every time.  SNL needs to let Jason Sudeikis (the guy in the red jumpsuit) dance in the background of every sketch from now on. . . hilarious!

OUCH!

Cubs fans remain the butt of the joke, even after a failed olympic bid . . .

Funny Blog Post About a Guy Tracking Down a Stolen iPhone

Aaron Monts just twittered about this blog post, and since I haven't blogged about anything personally in a while, and since I don't feel like devoting much head space to create my own thoughts on any subject, I decided to post a link to someone else who posted a kick-butt and absolutely hilarious story.  This guy had his iPhone stolen one night, so he's telling the story of how he ended up tracking the thief down with a new Apple app "Find My iPhone."  It's really funny.

Here's THE POST

Funny Little Cubs and Sox Fans

This just about says it all about the cross-town rivalry.  I love one of the comments someone left: "Cute ... but sad that the debate won't get much more intelligent as they get older."  :)

How To Solve The Economic Crisis . . . SNL Style

This was on Saturday Night Live last night.  Pretty funny.

Sleepwalking Dog

This is the funniest clip I've seen in awhile.  My dog sometimes twitches in her sleep, and it looks like she's dreaming about running through a field or something.  THIS dog, is REALLY dreaming about running. . .

Letterman on Alex Rodriguez

Just saw David Letterman's monologue, and he takes a couple of good shots at New York's very own 'roid doper, Alex Rodriguez.  Here's a quote:

"Alex Rodrguez has now admitted and apologized for using the steroids, and now he wants to put it all behind him and get back to being an over-paid disappointment."

Book Review: Stuff White People Like

Based on his popular blog site, Christian Lander wrote Stuff White People Like, a book featuring one man's quest to educate the world on the unique taste of white people.  I bought the book just prior to boarding a red-eye flight to Kansas City a few weeks ago, and I'd say this book is absolutely perfect for that very context.  It is a light, fast read, highly entertaining (including some moments when you will laugh out loud), and it requires very little brain energy to process it.  Like I said . . . perfect for a 7 AM flight.

Here's the simple premise.  Lander has made 150 observations about the unique and quirky "stuff" that white people tend to enjoy, things that people of another race or ethnicity would find utterly bizzare.  It's all couched in sarcastic language and written as if he's a filmographer for National Geoographics observing the mating habits of wild Gorillas.  Now, it's important to understand that, contrary to his book's premise, Lander is ONLY talking about a certain type of white person. 

White Trash News Flash

Found this hilarious newspaper clip floating around online.  You mught be a redneck if . . .

A Very "Beaker" Christmas

The Dullest Blog In The World

Do you want to know what the dullest blog in the world is?  It's a blog entitled "The Dullest Blog In The World."  It's so bad, it's actually kind of funny.  Of course it hasn't been updated since 2006, but here is one sample entry:

"I was standing at a central point in the room. The walls were all at approximately the same distance from me. I continued to stand there for a few moments."

or this gem . . .

"I was doing some things. After a while I decided to stop doing them and take a short break. At the end of the break I started doing the things again."

Enjoy!

Stupid Joke of The Day

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?  He'd stay up all night wondering if there really was a dog.

The Herrick Family "Elfed"

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Church Marketing And Starbucks

A friend of mine sent me a link to this video.  It's a "parable" exploring what it would be like if Starbucks were to market their business like churches market themselves . . . it's an interesting critique of the way we try to reach people and pretty funny too.

How NOT To Deal With Your Wild Teenager

Apparently there's a law in Nebraska that allows mothers to anonynously give up an infant to the custody of a local hospital without being prosecuted.  It's a "safe haven" law that states, "No person shall be prosecuted for leaving a child in the custody of a hospital employee."  The intent of the law is noble, designed to prevent mothers from abandoning their babies in unsafe ways because of the fear of prosecution.

Instead, because of how vague the word "child" is in the law, parents all over Nebraska have been abandoning their unruly teenagers at local hospitals  . . . and it's completely legal.  Here's a quote from the article: "Of the 17 children [left at a hospital] since the law took effect in July, only four are younger than 10 -- and all four are among the nine siblings abandoned by a man September 24 at an Omaha hospital."  Did you catch that?  One guy left 9 of his kids at the hospital.  Parents just said, "I give up!  I can't take these little punks anymore!"  The Nebraska congress has scheduled an emergency session to change the wording of the law, but I think this is a fairly strong indication of the role the church needs to start playing in building strong families in our society.

Here's the cnn vdeo

Clinton and Palin Sketch on SNL

If you happened to miss this Saturday Night Live sketch, click this link to check it out.  Tina Fey is a dead ringer for Sarah Palin, and this skit is one of the funniest political sketches I've seen SNL do in a long time.

And . . . The Accompanying Worship Band

These are masterfully written lyrics :)

Why Dancing Should Never Be Allowed In Church

Something like this might happen . . .

Stuff Christians Like

My friend Greg told me about this hilarious blog site called "Stuff Christians Like."  I checked it out today, and let me tell you, it is really hilarious.  This guy has great insights into all of the silly things that people who live in the Christian sub-culture tend to do, asks some great questions about it, but most importantly pokes alittle fun at it.  He's a Christian guy, so he's poking fun at himself too (or I guess all of us).  But he has a great way of making fun of things without being cutting.

Ironically, another friend mentioned a site to me a few months ago called "Stuff White People Like." I think this blog actually came first, and it is equally funny and completely politically incorrect.

So if you are both a Christian and white, here are two places where you can make fun of yourself alittle today!

P.S.  I found the picture on this post a few months ago while searching for something else.  It's called "Buddy Jesus" and I know nothing about it other than the fact that it made me laugh out loud when I saw it.  I've been waiting for the perfect post to use it, and I think this isabout as close as I'll ever get.

Boy, Skateboard, and Basketball

Here's a funny clip of a kid trying to launch a basketball into a hoop with his skateboard.

Gabriele Paolini, Professional Interrupter

There's a guy in Italy named Gabriele Paoliniwho has acquired some notoriety and a bit of a cult following among Italian locals for interrupting live, on-air news reports.  He has made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for interrupting 20,000 live news reporters.  He comes up behind news reporters, then waves around condoms and steals the show in an effort to promote safe sex.  People call him the "Prophylactic Prophet."  I read about this on the BBC because apparently the Italian Supreme Court has become involved and threatened jail time for Paolini and anyone caught Bogarting a live television news camera in the country of Italy.  I found this collage of Paolini's sabotages on YouTube so you can see it for yourself.  It's all in Italian, so you can't understand what they're saying, but it's still kinda funny.   

WWJDC? (Where Would Jesus Drink Coffee?)

If you've been in a Starbucks in the last few weeks, you've probably noticed a change in their logo.  The nationally recognized green logo has been replaced by a throwback to a brown, vintage Starbucks logo from the early years.  I understand that the company is only doing the switch for a short term promotional campaign.

Well, today I was reading on the BBCthat there is an American Christian group (they're called "The Resistance") threatening to boycott Starbucks because they feel that the logo is  . . . well. . . not family friendly.  They complained that the woman in the logo was showing alittle too much . . .ahem . . .booby, and she "had her legs spread like a prostitute."  Here's a direct quote: "The company might as well call themselves Slutbucks."  I'm almost certain that mermaids don't have legs-- they have fish tails or something, but they're not legs.  But I will say . . . Slutbucks does have a nice ring to it! :)

 

Bob Mullins and Indiana Jones

Tonight, the History Channel was airing a program called "Indiana Jones and the Ultimate Quest."  It compared and contrasted the Indiana Jones movies to modern archaeology, so it interlaced scenes from the movies with clips from actual archaeologists.  It was sort of interesting, especially if you're at all interested in archaeology.  I started becoming more and more interested in archaeology after I went to Israel a few years ago, so I was kinda getting into the show.

Well, amazingly enough, one of the expert modern archaeologists the History Channel interviewed for this show was a guy named Bob Mullins, an archaeologist from Azuza Pacific.  Belive it or not, I actually spent three weeks hanging out with Bob in Israel!  He was the guide who led our Seminary class throughout Israel, taking us to excavation sites and all sorts of places, many of which he had excavated himself.  Let me tell you, that guy is about as much of an Indiana Jones as I've ever met!  He's brilliant, knows the land of Israel backwards and forwards, speaks fluent Hebrew, and is tough as freakin' nails.  It was cool to see him again.   

Toddler Geographer

Here's a crazy clip I saw on youtube.  This kid is not quite 2 years old and she tell you where all these countries are on the map.  It's amazing!

Landry's Imaginary Friend

This is my neice, Landry.  She's this cute little 3 year old (her birthday's in a few weeks).  My brother posted this hilarious description of Landry's imaginary friend on his blog.  It's adorable.  It's incredible how detailed a 3 year old's imagination can be.   

The Island of Lesbos Fights For The Lesbian Name

I came across this article on the BBC.  Apparently the inhabitants of the Greek island of Lesbos, the island from which people derived the term "Lesbians," are suing a gay activist organization for using the name.  I guess since homosexual women have started using the term "lesbian" as a description for gay women, it gives straight, "Lesbian" women from the island of Lesbos a bad reputation (imagine that).  The article says, "The issue boils down to who has the right to call themselves Lesbians."  Maybe it's just me, but I think it's kinda funny.  Here's the link to the article.   

The Stuffed Monkey

I was in Pampa, Texas yesterday meeting with a couple of guys who are in the oil business in the Panhandle.  I was telling them about my church and what I'm doing.  These guys are avid hunters so there have stuffed animals, heads, exotic animals from safaris in Africa, and all kinds of carcasses lining every wall of their office building.  We're talking zebras, lions, tigers, gazzelles, deer, moose.   These guys are single-handedly keeping the taxidermy profession alive and kickin in Pampa.

So I went into the office of the owner of this company, sat in the chair across from his desk, and staring me in the face, just to my left, was about a 4 foot tall stuffed monkey, with a long tail, on all fours.  He had his mouth open and bearing his teeth like he was yelling at me.  But what cracked me up was this guy had gone to the trouble of stuffing the monkey so that his arm was extending toward the person sitting in my chair and giving him the middle finger.  One of the funniest things I'd ever seen.

Funny Sermon clip

Here's a youtube post I saw on another blog.  Funny stuff.  I totally just learned about the difference between men and women, why the King James rocks, why all German men are really girls, and what's wrong with America :)