Junk Drawer Spirituality

Spirituality For the Emotionally Reserved Introvert: Part 5

This is my final post in this little series on introverts and spirituality.  I've been thinking through the challenges introverts face as we try to grow in our relationships with God, because for the introvert, it often feels like we have much bigger obstacles to hurdle in life than our extroverted friends . . . and spirituality is no exception.

I want to talk a little about leadership.  What does leadership have to do with spirituality?  Well, if you're part of a church, spirituality and leadership are sorta like peas and carrots.  There's something we call "the leadership pipeline," a process that illustrates the way we grow and develop leaders in our churches.  A person starts out as a church attender, he/she gives his/her life to Jesus, begins to serve, then begins to apprentice under a leader, then leads a serving team, then coaches leaders . . . and on and on and on until he/she eventually replace Rick Warren as head honcho of the Evangelical world and writes the next Purpose Driven whatever.  For right or wrong, leadership has kinda become the apex of spiritual growth in the church world.

That can be a problem for the 50% of the population who consider themselves introverts.  Why?  Well, because the traditional model of good leadership is often seen exclusively through the lens of the extrovert.

Spirituality For the Emotionally Reserved Introvert: Part 4

Conversations between introverts and extroverts can feel alittle like happy hour with the United Nations.  They're two different personalities and they often bring the baggage of two very different expectations for a conversational relationship.  Extroverts can get frustrated by the lack of participation by introverts, and introverts can often feel bulldozed when conversing with extroverts.  So I thought I'd take a blog post and talk about the challenges introverts face relating to extroverts and vice versa.

Adam McHugh, in his book Introverts in the Church, talks about the physiological differences between an introvert's brain and an extrovert's brain; the introvert's brain is apparently wired and chemically balanced in such a way that we process conversations differently than our extroverted friends.

Here's an example.  

Spirituality For the Emotionally Reserved Introvert: Part 3

This is part 3 of my exploration into the spirituality of introverted people.  As I've said before, I'm an introvert . . . a piece of my personality I always wished I could surgically remove like a hairy mole.  I always wished I was more like my extrovert friends who seem to glide in and out of community with relative ease, while I have to muster the moxie to be comfortable in similar circumstances.  But an introvert I am, and I'm learning what it means to be one as I'm growing in my relationship with God.

One thing I've noticed is that we introverts experience community in a very different way than extroverted people.  We have just as much of a thirst for community.  But the introvert lives with the constant insecurity that they don't quite fit, or that they don't really belong to a community in the same way as the people around them.

Have you ever seen those Facebook quizzes that supposedly tell you which character from popular TV sit-coms you're most similar to?  Do you ever shudder a little when you consider that it might be Michael Scott from The Office rather than Jim?  Or do you ever wonder if you're the type of character that only made a few special appearances on Friends, (like Fun Bobby; remember him?) but then disappeared, and nobody noticed?  That was the character that got written out of the show because they weren't really necessary.  They didn't add anything to the show.

Spirituality For The Emotionally Reserved Introvert: Part 2

Some researchers asked a group of Bible College students to describe Jesus' personality.  Results showed, as you might expect, that most people tend to imagine Jesus had the same personality as themselves.  Go figure.  If you're a neat freak, you tend to think Jesus was a neat freak.  If you're creative, you tend to think Jesus was creative too.  In every case, with every personality characteristic, people tend to cast Jesus in their own image . . . with one exception.   

When asked whether he was an introvert or an extrovert, 97% of those surveyed believed Jesus was an extrovert.

Isn't that crazy?  Even introverts believe Jesus was an extrovert.  Which is alittle surprising when you consider the many introverted habits Jesus exhibited in his life (like in LK. 5:16 where it says that "Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed").  Of course, Jesus did some extroverted things too, but it's hard to infer that Jesus was more of an extrovert than an introvert based on raw Biblical data.  Clearly, there are some cultural biases at work here. 

The difficult thing about living in our culture as an introvert is that there is such a strong cultural preference for extroverted personality types.  Anyone who's walked in the shoes of an introvert knows that to be true.  All of us have occasionally tried to force ourselves to be more extroverted, and when it didn't work, we've all wondered, "What's the matter with me?"  Our world clearly prefers the extrovert, and the ironic thing is I think introverts prefer them too.

And obviously, as this study demonstrates, such biases do not stop at the church door.  Just think about what a study like this says about the church's perceptions toward spirituality.  If the task of the spiritual life is to become more like Jesus, it would seem that about 97% of the population at least covertly believes that spiritual growth means doing the types of things, and being the type of person that extroverts are more naturally equipped to do and be.

Spirituality For The Emotionally Reserved Introvert: PART 1

I'm an introvert

I HATE admitting that. I've fought that label most of my life, as if introversion were some nasty cousin of gonorrhea or hepatitis C.  In fact I think there are times that I'd actually prefer that it burn while I urinate over the pains of social anxiety that occasionally accompany my introverted personality.  Only recently have I come to fully embrace this truth about myself after spending much of my life saying, "Well, I'm shy in certain situations, but if I know the crowd well enough I'm REALLY more of an extrovert."  The truth is, yes - there are many times when I am completely at ease with my surroundings and the people I'm with.  At church I can mingle and mix with total strangers.  But I also know there are some social situations that are very difficult for me.  And even in those where I'm more at ease, there's a fair amount of acting going on as I attempt to conceal my continual internal monologue . . . 

"Does this person like me?  Why did I just say that?  Am I standing crooked?  Why did HE just say THAT!?  Why is HE folding his arms like that.  What did that mean?  I'm getting bored with this conversation.  Oh CRAP he's been talking for 3 minutes, and I haven't paid attention to anything he's said!  Nod politely!"